Running in the Rain

There's something about it, being completely drenched after going out in a rainstorm. You're out there, and you can completely let go. You can run or sing or laugh or just be free. Then, as I went back inside after getting soaked, I didn't know what to feel. Should I be happy? Should I be sad? My three weeks with all of you is over, and I'm ready to pour my heart out.



To be completely honest with all of you, I wasn't exactly sure that I was going to enjoy this. Last year, when we did "As You Like It" for STC, I didn't think it could get any better. We were a fantastic group of just eleven people and clicked instantly. I had so much fun and I felt so loved by everyone. However, this year, I had my doubts. We all didn't click instantly, and I felt like no one knew, or cared who I was.



Something happened though, around the third week of the conservatory. I felt as if something changed. These people could be my friends, and I could connect with them and I could go crazy with them. I didn't feel lost anymore, not completely unwanted. In a way, I knew that I would miss you guys way more than I thought I would at first.



I have been in a lot of shows, and I can honestly tell you that I have never cried after one ended before. I cried for two hours Friday night, and when I woke up Saturday morning I cried some more. Probably because of the fact that I never really got to know you, and you me. There are so many things I will miss. I am going to miss running all over the place to help Jenni change to Ratcliffe or Elizabeth. I am going to miss the mornings on the ride to Burning Coal when Alex and Hillary beat each other up over cars. I am going to miss Leo's complete and utter craziness. I am going to miss being Christmas with Anastatia. I am going to miss creeping Kristen out with George. I am going to miss Ian's bouncing off the walls and saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I am going to miss having the title of "mother" to Evan, George, Claire, Matt, Dylan, Hillary, and Reba. I am going to miss making fun of martini smoker Duchess with Lindsey. All in all, I am just going to miss all of you.

I won't lie though. There were still some times up to the very end when I felt invisible. We had an amazing show, and I hope I see all of you again, but I understand if that will never happen. We will go on: back to life, back to school, back to our other friends. I'll always have to start over again, but I will miss all of you.

With love,
Kayla