Richard, Duke of Gloucester
By Alex Karsten
1. Who am I? I am a villain. I am a villain in almost every sense of the word. In fact, I don't even act like I think I am doing the right thing; I am evil on purpose. I mean, why not? Nobody would love me even if I was a good-guy, because I'm all deformed and such. Why should I even try? I'm also a Duke. Which is such a convenient position for me (seeing as I'm evil). I only have about 15 people to kill before I can have all the power I could ever want, so I can be evil and powerful. Plus, it's peacetime, and I am bored.
2. Where am I?
I am in England. I live in London and I spend a lot of my time in the court. Have I mentioned it's peacetime and I am super bored?
3. What time is it?
@#$%#$%@$% PEACETIME!!!! That's what time it is! Peacetime is the worst time. It is like winter. I am discontent. It's so boring not to be fighting and killing and stabbing and killing. I miss those times. Wartimes. They are fun. You get to kill people without consequences. But now what do we do? Try to bind up old feuds? BLAH BLAH BLAH. Why would we do that? WHY? That will make us fight less! Some people just don't get it.
4. What are my surroundings?
Obstacles. Victims. Family members. Idiots. <--(a list of synonyms) I am surrounded by undeformed people. But, you know, I think the whole "people" concept is overrated. Really people are just animals. And we kill animals to feed us and clothe us all the time. Nobody has a problem with that. I am surrounded by animals.
5. What are the given circumstances?
I was born deformed. Everyday I am reminded of it, because it is physically in the way. Not to mention the disgusted looks I always get. People need to learn to avert their eyes (another reason it would be nice to be King). And, I just recently kind of kicked some major tail at Tewksbury. YEA BABY! I showed those Lancasters who was boss. Stab! Stab! I made short work of them. But does anyone really care? No. Because I am ugly.
6. What is my relationship?
I don't believe in relationships. Relationships involve giving and taking. Frankly, I had enough taken from me before I was even born; I 'm done with the whole concept of giving. It's my turn. Seriously. I guess my relationship to people is the same as a farmer to his livestock or a general to his soldiers. I do not care about people. Only what they can do for me. In fact, most of the time they are just obstacles.
7. What do I want?
I want to have the power to make people suffer. I suffer everyday. I think it's unfair for me to be the only one. So, I thought, for the sake of Justice, why don't I spread the suffering around? But I can't do that as a Duke. No, only as King can I maximize my abilities to really make sure everyone suffers equally.
8. What is in my way?
There are all these happy people everywhere. It's disgusting. So, there is a lot of suffering that needs to be done. The sheer magnitude is an obstacle. As far as becoming King goes there are just a few idiots that need to be done away with, some by murder and one or two by marriage.
9. How am I going to get it?
Well, to become King I will just get rid of everyone in my way. It should be easy enough (as I said before they are idiots; I happen to be creative). And then I will make them suffer in all sorts of ways: taxes, plagues, poorly cooked french food, etc. No measure will be too extreme.
10. How will I know when I get it?
I am siting on the throne. And the whole world wishes they were dead.
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